please pray for the Chapmans

Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter, Maria passed away yesterday. Please pray for their family. They are some of the most incredible people.

New McQueen Sunglasses

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Jayden and Matthew saying "cheese". I'm not really sure why we went for full blown cheesy but he did actually try to smile for the camera.

Taking in the game...

Watching the Durham Bulls practice...

I decided to get Jayden and myself a mini-plan for the Durham Bulls baseball team this year. This is our second game (out of 10) and we have so much fun. It poured down rain so this game was delayed and we were able to watch the players warm up. Matthew and Berna decided to join us for our big Mother's day outing.

Jayden is officially potty trained which is very exciting. So far he is not one of those kids who needs to visit every toilet in a new location. He hates the loud ones that pump a ton of water through...you know the high speed ones I'm talking about.

He now gets to choose his underwear. I pulled out three pair the other day, pair one had trucks on it, pair two had soccer balls and pair three were plain. He just had to wear the "plane" ones and now asks for his airplane underwear. Plain white briefs are all the rage with pilots you know.

He's talking up a storm in both English and Spanish these days. I'm learning a little bit along the way...he'll teach me I just know it.

Mater...as in Tow Mater

Yesterday, Mater received his first haircut and looks like a new dog. All the orange hair is gone and he has one of the softest coats ever.

Jayden is in need of some attending, okay discipline. More later...

Day at the Zoo

It's been a busy couple weeks. We went to the zoo a few weeks back. The NC Zoo is big (5 miles of trails). We only did half of it and Jayden walked it all.

We also brought home a new dog. I'll post pictures soon. Mater, as he is now known, is a 5 year old Springer. Different in personality than Willie, but still has a lot of the characteristics that I love about the breed...this is what I was looking for. He is the scale model, much more compact. He was horribly neglected by someone who inherited him and that owner turned him over to animal control when given the option of doing that or having charges brought up against them. He is almost fully recovered and has gained weight. He has hair now (yes, the poor guy was pretty much bald) so he's looking better and feeling better each day. His personality is coming out more and more as he gets to know us. He knows sit, stay, down, speak, etc. I think all in all he'll be a good fit for Jayden and myself.

Deceptively Delicious...Just Deceptive

So I did get a copy of the cookbook, Deceptively Delicious for Christmas. We've even tried a couple recipes, but maybe I've gone a little too far.

I was sick a couple weeks ago and asked my brother to pick me up some ice cream on his way over. He showed up with ice cream and cones (not totally sure why the cones). I left them sitting on the table. A few nights later they caught Jayden's attention and he asked for ice cream. I said "no, you have to finish your dinner". He started his faux tantrum... fake crying but with a smirk on his face...drama but no real umph behind it.

I took a cone and filled it with mashed potatoes...the response...'mmmmmmmmm, thank you Mommy". Please no one break the news that ice cream is supposed to be cold.

It's far too quiet

So I really miss my dog. I'm not quite capable of talking about him yet without getting all emotional which is so not like me. It's so quiet and I don't have a personal escort to every part of the house. I don't trip over a dog while carrying a pile of laundry. I have to go to the bathroom by myself. There is no gently shaking bed (panting induced). There is no more loyal buddy.

It's amazing how you learn after they are gone, how integrated into your life they really are. I haven't lost anyone super close to me, in a way he's the first. I realize, comprehend and get that he was "only a dog", but he was my dog. He was very faithful and compassionate. He exhibited characteristics that made it so easy to have "Wisdom from Willie".

The picture I have to keep in my head is that he is now up at the pearly gates, barking everytime someone rings the bell at the pearly gates, greeting everyone... he must be driving Peter nuts by now! ;-)

Goodbye Old Friend

Wednesday, February 13, I had to say goodbye to my beloved Willie. He was the most amazing dog. I won't write much about him now (I'm at work and still not able to hold it together to talk about him). I miss him so much, but know that he is out of the pain he was so stoically handling.

Happy Birthday Willie

My beloved pup, Willie, had his 15th birthday this past week. I used to joke around that in my house we have a 14 year minimum agreement, but now I've had a full year of bonus time.

He's really starting to slow down and more often than not, I have to carry him downstairs in the morning until he can get all his joints working. He still has to be in the middle of the action, although now he's more content to watch the activity. He can't hear and his sight is starting to go, but the nose is still fully functional along with the ever-present Springer appetite.

Willie, you are a great dog. Happy 15!

Do I get points for effort?

This was the best of the bunch of attempts at a Christmas family picture. Mandu is somewhere under the tree, but we at least got everyone in the picture. I didn't get a Christmas letter out this year...I did pictures printed so that Grandma and Grandpa could split them with me...Grandma accidently took the whole batch home and threw them out...oops.

The holidays were a whirlwind. We had six events in a week and are just now settling back into some sort of a routine. We also had a couple visits to the vet...I had prepared myself that this was it for Willie and I would have to say goodbye but the vet figured out what was causing his pain and we decided to try a new medication. He's doing much better. I am anticipating "the decision" to be in the summer. He'll be 15 in a few weeks and has been an amazing dog. Mama also made a trip and is now on fluid treatments - think IV hanging from the kitchen light fixture. Since she has such a deep rib cage, the fluids which are administered under the skin, follow gravity and make their way to bottom of her chest...I refer to it as her temporary saline implants, about a 1/2 hour later her body absorbs everything and we're back to normal, but much happier.



On Christmas day, Matthew, Berna, Claudia (Jayden's teacher), and two of her sons came for the dinner. It was absolutely wonderful...games, puzzles and great conversation.



For New Year's I decided to throw a toddler New Year...that would be a count down to 7:30. We made a string mache ball (ran out of time to cover in glitter), got plastic stem ware and sparkling grape juice for the toast, and noise makers. It ended up being a lot of fun.

Uncle Santa?

Last night was Jayden's daycare Christmas party. It's a wonderful party - lots of amazing Colombian food, singing, and of course Santa! When Santa arrived, Jayden went for the classroom...not too keen on the man in the red suit. After gifts were handed out, Mommy took the opportunity to get Jay's picture with Santa. I thought enough time had elapsed to warm up to the guy in the red suit. Well, you see the result.

Later Uncle Santa came in his street clothes and we were so excited to see him and spent much of the rest of the evening hanging with him.

Someone just woke up...gotta run!

Family Day - 2 Years!

Saturday was our 2 year Family Day celebration. We went to a new kids museum and it was wonderful. I think I have found our new annual trip for the next couple years - I am not sure how this will show up, but the floor is a map of the world and he is standing near Guatemala.

He was good for one picture and then ran out of the shot where I had him standing near NC.

Jayden is such a joy! Happy Family Day kiddo!

Concern from those in Guatemala

The last several months, I've been following the new adoption law and it's implications from several sources. I think this article sums up the concern well.

http://www.adaguatemala.org/English/news/

Some nights I don't sleep so well...

but they always seem to...

Who is really losing out

Why must we keep repeating misinformation? Why? Over the last several months Guatemala adoptions have been in the news. Most of the reporting has been poor at best and exploitive at worst.

The AP and other news organizations have reported that under the current notorial system, the notories (lawyers) are paid $30,000. That is insane. First let me explain that there is definitely an international fee...what it includes: lawyer to represent you, lawyer to represent the child, all family court fees, PGN (Guatemalan court system) fees, foster care, formula, clothes, doctors’ appointments, all documentation fees, translation fees, transportation for doctor's appointments, etc. The international fee is a flat fee regardless of how long your process takes...5 months or 1 year, it's the same. Formula, it's what we have here except there is no generic version so it's $20 per can. The lawyers are legally responsible for the children until they are adopted. They find them foster care. In Jay's case, he was in foster care, six weeks prior to my referral so that would mean the lawyer was covering the all his expenses up to that point. Let's also remember there is no insurance there so it's not like my co-pay covered his vaccines, etc. He also had a lot of additional testing, i.e. HIV, Hepatitis screenings, etc. Money is always a sensitive topic to be sure, but I think the fees I paid were more than fair. I paid for someone to take excellent care of my son. I paid for someone to see my case through the process. I paid for my documents to be translated. I paid for many services in order to bring my son home and the media seems to lose sight of that. Let’s be clear $30K does NOT go to the lawyers in Guatemala. The international is no where near $30K.

A law was voted on yesterday in a special session of Guatemalan congress. There is a sigh of relief for the most part from the families that are in the middle of their adoptions. The law is all in the name of stopping corruption and becoming Hague Compliant. I am thrilled for them, but petrified for the children who hadn't received a referral or those whose mother is starring poverty in the face and now may not have adoption as a choice. I am scared because Guatemala has no social service mechanism to handle or care for these children. The prospect of children going to an orphanage is horribly sad, but there are no state orphanages so that really isn’t an option. Remove the lawyers in favor of a central authority and in effect, you are removing the foster system as well. If they push out the private orphanages and there is no foster system where exactly will these children go?

The articles I have read how “easy” it is to adopt from Guatemala that last year alone over 4,000 children were adopted by Americans. They speak of how high that number is. I want to yell and scream at them. Do you know how many years of adoptions at that rate it would take to get to the current number of Guatemalans who have been backed into a corner to immigrate to the US illegally? Do you realize that there is a horrific trend of mothers leaving their children behind to ride the Train of Death through Mexico in hopes of making to the US so they can send money for food, clothes and school back to their children? If you haven’t read Enrique’s Journey, go get it, read it. 48,000 unaccompanied minors are making the trip each year in an attempt to find their mothers here in the US.

This new law has the potential to stop adoptions altogether from Guatemala. Most likely the best case scenario is it is going to greatly reduce them. It really is not about adoption, it’s about what is going to happen in a country that is so impoverish and has no structure to handle it. The families that were considering Guatemala as an option for adoption can choose another country. The children and their birthmothers in Guatemala won’t have that choice. Please don’t lose sight of them and that is the real tragedy being missed in the media and in the passage of this new law.

He took a bad picture

Last night I was trying to get a picture of Jayden actually looking into the camera. He's always hated the flash and so when he sees the camera, he usually tries to avoid it.

Here's Mister Photogenic...

Caught between the moon and Guatemala City

So two years ago on this date, Pop Pop, as he is now known, and I got up at 3am to begin our journey to Guatemala City.

We flew Continental Airlines through Houston. I had miles on US Airways and he had them on Continental so we both researched who could get tickets in two days and hopefully in first class. Long story short, Pop Pop won this one. Being the complete travel snot that I had become over the previous two years, I did a lot of ""your" first class doesn't have this" - it became somewhat of a joke.

Contintental still has a lot of the old school first class amenities. Real glasses and plates, table clothes, etc. It was decadent to be sure. I was shocked that they served first class even during pretty rough turbulence. They asked to wait to give us coffee so we wouldn't get burned, but yet the flight attendents were still serving...shocking. And for those that know me, this was not a fun experience here. Turbulence and I are not friends.

Houston to Guatemala City is 3 hours. We landed, gathered our things, and got on the hotel shuttle bus. We arrived at the hotel and got in line to check in. We weren't in line more than 2 minutes, when Jayden, Carmen and her family arrived.

We took over a side room in one of the hotel restaurants, ordered food, shared gifts, instructions on Jayden's schedule and went over the remaining paperwork for the embassy. It was so surreal in many ways. We said our goodbyes, lots of hugs and tears and then checked in and went up to our room.

He was mine.

2 Whole Years!

Two years ago on December 8, I got "the call". It was a Thursday morning and the caller id was from my adoption agency. I was sort of confused as to why they would be calling. I started off by asking if it was "the call" and if we had pink slip. She said yes, so I got up to walk out of the building to finish the call.

Pink slip is literally a pink piece of paper with your US Embassy appointment. I got a call on a Thursday that I had to be there on Tuesday. Our appointment was at 7:30 in the morning. At this point, I kick into PD mode - there are a lot of logistics to be nailed down... travel, work has to be covered, what to bring, etc, etc. It is also the "dawning of what is about to happen".

Grandpa and I board the 6am flight on Sunday morning to fly to Guatemala City. We got to the hotel, got in line to check in and Jayden was there with his foster family waiting for us. The two hours we spent with them flew by.

Two days later was the embassy appointment and then we were on our way home.

This is just before going to the US Embassy...

Update on the milestone

Today while driving in, I apparently took the preferred route. At one intersection, when I made the "correct" turn, I heard "Bueno" from the backseat.

Milestone blown out of the water

Admittedly, I am biased at the skill level and development of my boy. There is one area that he is downright exceptional. He possesses a skill that as a first time parent, it would never have occurred to me to track. I am positive that his pediatrician would not track it as no other child possesses this skill at such a tender age.

Jayden is a backseat driver. He is passionate about which direction I should go when we come to intersections. If Mommy does not take his impassioned pleadings from the backseat to make a turn, she is met with a faux tantrum of epic proportions. If Mommy, however, follows said backseat drivers directions, she is met with a full gusto "wwweeeeeeeeee".

We are currently in training to use the words "left" and "right", as finger pointing and "this way" are what is used to provide direction from the backseat. Somewhat difficult to see from the front seat.

If I could figure out how to drive and take video at the same time I would.